The warmth of the water spread over me. I never knew I could
feel this way. Very gently, you washed every inch of my body, taking your time,
being thorough. You caressed me as you rinsed away all of the dirt. It was like
you were washing away all the lies I constantly live beneath, even if it was
only for that moment, in that moment. You pulled me close, and for a flutter of
time, we were one. There was nothing more, nothing less, it just was. I could
breath without thinking. I could stand there naked and not fear being judged.
For a moment, I was breathtaking. For a moment, I was yours.
As surely as all things do, the moment passed. It was time
to return to real life. As he stepped out of the shower, I sighed and let the
water rinse over me just a while longer before finally following suit and
climbing out of the serenity. By the time I reached him, he was already dressed
and commencing his remaining hygienic tasks. I stood there, brushing my hair in
a towel, watching him with a tiny smile on my face, wondering how in the world
our paths crossed, almost knowing that, more than likely, it would be a brief
crossing. And when he told me as we were parting that it was too much to handle
being with me at the present moment, I smiled with grace and took my leave just
as subtly as I’d arrived.
I understood. Far too well did I. But it still saddened me
just a little. Here was this man I’d only really known for a few brief weeks,
who knew so much about me and how I functioned, who wasn’t afraid of me when I
cried, who didn’t think it was stupid of me to still be dealing with an issue
that I feel like should be taken care of, who cared for me more sweetly and
genuinely in a series of short moments than almost anyone in my life. And here
he was saying goodbye.
